Moving Forward

I cannot imagine moving on from this horrible tragedy. Going back to normal everyday life: working, going to the store, cleaning the house, celebrating the holidays. They seem like foreign concepts that I will never be able to do again.

I am determined however to make sure they happen. I do not want to end up a shut in as a result of this even though the pain is intense and the loss has left me feeling like an empty shell I know I must continue to live me life.

I am allowing myself one more week away from work. I will slowly start going back into the community and I hope to start seeing people outside of the family beginning tomorrow.

I really don't want to see anyone but I cannot allow myself to stop living. That will not help anyone. Something will always be missing but there are so many people who count on me and so many things I want out of my life i realize I must keep going.

Will I just shut this part of my life off and not mention it again? I doubt it, I am sure in June when Atlee would have been born it will be hard, when I conceive again it will be hard, when I see families with young children it will be hard, when I see children being mistreated it will be hard....etc. But I cannot and will not let this event define my future.

I just ask for your continued prayers and support as I work through this time.