A Beverly by any other name

A Beverly by any other name is still a Beverly but what am I exactly? Here is what I think or rather how I see myself:

wife, mother, support system, nurse, cheerleader, coach, counselor, homework helper, advice giver, quasi baker, coffee consumer, bookworm, friend, enemy, animal lover, shoulder to lean on, lover, daughter, learner, teacher, housekeeper, laundry washer, breakfast maker, holiday planner, family activity planner, fundraiser, coworker, mentor, daughter-in-law, organizer, bill payer, full time employee, dreamer, realist, lover of all things fifties, student, listener, christian, woman, me

So...which one is me? How can I be all of these things and still be successful? If I want to advance my career, and since it is a forgone conclusion that I must work I might as well excel at it, I have to put in long hours at work and sometimes at home. If I put in long hours at work I feel as if I am losing my family. It's like do I work late and miss Holly's game or cut out early to watch her game then work late into the night when I get home so I don't fall behind.

Not only does it come down to work vs. home but also: Since I am working so hard and so many hours shouldn't I spend my free time with my family? But what about my friends? Don't they deserve to have some of my time too? But I can't escape the guilt of leaving my family long enough to go with them anywhere or if I do go I don't really enjoy myself since I feel like I should be home.

I could go back to the regular eight hour work day, that means I would give up any chance of advancement. I am afraid I would lose my mind and maybe my job if I was to be on the phone constantly - eight hours a day forty hours a week.

Therein lies the conflict.