Hi I'm Beverly and I am different from you

This post is precipitated by a conversation I had with Melanie today. This post is not an indictment of Melanie or her beliefs. Our conversation just got me thinking about something that happens a lot. So while you are reading this keep in mind that I am not talking about any one person in particular rather a larger group as a whole.

Carry on…..

I can’t tell you how many times I have heard the following. “I know you are religious so….” “I know Jew’s don’t believe in (random topic like murdering toddlers) but..” Really Jew’s don’t believe in (random topic like murdering toddlers) huh? This is generally said in a quite apologetic tone as if the person is preparing to tell me something that will send me into apoplectic shock. This generally occurs when discussing recent events that are in the headlines such as gay marriage, Middle East Conflict, President Obama, things that would be hot button with anyone.

That being said I feel these people fall into two categories: Those who really have no idea what I and/or Jew’s believe and those who know what I believe but feel that I am unable to have an intelligent, informed conversation about it because of my religious beliefs. The former group makes me feel sad because I seem them as slightly naïve but at least they are well meaning. The later group simply annoys me.

For the former group it would be best if they phrased things like a question. “How do you/Jew’s feel about (random topic like murdering toddlers). Do all Jew’s feel that way or only you?” That at least allows for some dialog.

For the later group I would recommend some common sense. Clearly, if you know me, I am not opposed to discussing things about which I do not agree, as long as I am allowed to present my opinion and the facts I feel support it without being brow-beaten. Believe it or not I do not (intentionally at least) brow beat people who disagree with me. Secondly, if you are as up to date on world affairs as you claim to be you may know that all Jews, Christians, Muslims, Buddhists etc...Do not necessarily agree on every topic.

For every person like me who eats kosher, opposes gay marriage, votes for the person least likely to raise taxes and be strong on immigration, there is another “Jew” who supported proposition 8, voted for Obama and enjoys a ham sandwich. Also, don’t assume that I have these beliefs simply because I am “religious.” There are in fact some topics in which I have had to struggle, research and pray prior to coming to my “final decision” There are some topics in which I do not agree with my husband or most members of my temple. (Hard to believe?)

I just ask that before you say one of the phrases mentioned above please think about it and maybe rephrase it.

Also, don’t feel that you have to censor yourself when speaking to me. I wear big girl panties and if you say something I don’t agree with or don’t like I will tell you.