Venting Session

This post is completely contradictory to the last post I made about being grateful and I am struggling with myself because I don't really want to let this out but I feel cranky if I hold it it.

I love my family and there is so much I want to do for them but deep down, for many reasons, I feel like something is missing. That something is a baby. I usually keep this annoying fact at bay by staying busy however in large part due to the heat (I can't use the oven,) the fact I have no smokes, my current book is kind of lame, kiddo goes to bed early, I can't find the pedal to my sewing machine....just a lot of things that are keeping me from being able to stay 100% busy I have been thinking about it a lot more lately.

Not to mention that fact that where ever I go there are pregnant woman and new mothers with their little bundles of joy. I am getting older and I want to do this so bad it makes me sick. I know it will happen soon....husband says in about a year or so. Do I want to wait that long? Do I have a choice? I don't know but I hope it gets cold soon so I can go back to using the oven.

Sorry to vent like that but I just felt a little overwhelmed right now. Good night.

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6